The Funniest Casino Jokes

July 17, 2020 Posted in News by No Comments

No matter where you are or what you are doing, a joke can always brighten your mood.

Like any other niche, the gambling industry has its language and humor.

A joke can be a great way to break the tension or start a conversation with a fellow casino gambler.

In the following list, we provide you the best gambling stories people have shared on the internet, the funniest one-liners, and card jokes.

The Funniest Gambling Stories

A gambling story is a great way to kill some time and become a favorite member of the group.

In continuance, you can find two great stories that may become your favorite anecdotes.

A Clever Blonde

An Irish blonde came into the casino.

She appeared quite tipsy and bet $20,000 on a single roll of a dice.

Before she threw the dice, she politely asked the present members if she can take off her clothes.

She claimed that this was her lucky move, so they all agreed.

Once she stripped down her clothes, she rolled the dice and cheered “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

When the dice stopped, she screamed gratefully “YES! I WON, I WON!”

She took her clothes and money and left.

Once she was gone, the dealers discussed what she rolled.

Only to realize that no one was looking at the dice.

roulette table

The Wrong Man

A man named Tim gambled all his money in Vegas.

However, he needed to use the man’s room, so he borrowed a dime from a random man.

When he went to the toilet, he saw that the door was left open.

Left with the dime, he decided to put it on the slots.

Shockingly as it sounds, he got a jackpot.

But he didn’t want to stop.

So, he put all his money on the blackjack table and left the casino with $5 million.

Once he got his fortune, he started a lecturing cruise to share his inspiring story.

Each time he told the story he said that he would share his fortune if he found the man who made it all happen.

After some time, a man from the audience stood up and said that he gave him the dime.

To this Tim replied that he was looking for the man who left the man’s room door open, not the one who gave him the dime.

Top One-Liners

A one-liner is a great way to start a conversation, either with a stranger or one of your acquaintances.

We have chosen 7 of the most famous and funny one-liners.

  •  How do you become a millionaire through gambling? – Start as a billionaire.
  •   Why did the British blonde bring French fries to the casino? – She was told to bring her chips.
  • What’s the difference between casino players and politicians? – Casino players sometimes tell the truth.
  • What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? – I cannot deal with you anymore!
  •  What’s the difference between praying at a church and praying at the casino? – When praying at the casino, you pray with all your heart!
  • Why is gambling banned in Africa? – Too many cheetahs!
  •   What’s the difference between an online casino and a live casino? – At an online casino, you can cry when you lose, and no one will laugh at you!

Card Jokes

Card jokes may sometimes sound cliché.

Anyhow they will cause at least a smirk to anyone who hears them.

For this cause, we have chosen 3 of the funniest available card jokes.

  • What has a heart and no organs? A deck of cards!
  • Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.
  • Why can’t pirates play cards? Because they’re standing on the deck!

All in all, gambling based humor is widely known and recognized.

So no matter where you are around the globe, telling a joke will always brighten the mood.